I don’t actively remember the first time I heard about the “Devil”…as in the purported being that various religions believe in (mainly the Abrahamic religions of Christianity, Islam and Judaism). Some religions teach that the Devil is “Satan,” best known as the personification of evil and the nemesis of good people everywhere. Other belief systems teach that the devil or satan is not so much person or being but more a state of mind or state of being. In some esoteric schools of thought, they teach that the devil is the ego. Either way, the concept of the devil is one that is meant to instill fear and to keep people in line with following their given religions tenets. Personally, my earliest memories of being introduced to the devil were via my Christian sect of Spiritual Baptists a.k.a Shouter Baptists. It wasn’t a heavy influence at all, but I do remember hearing about the concept and having spiritual practices around fighting the devil, mostly through catching “spirit,” prayer, fasting and mourning (deep meditation states for 7–30 days in length). But if you had asked me as a kid growing up if I ever had a real, concrete example of when I had been attacked by the devil or influenced by him…I honestly couldn’t produce one. Nor could I show you anyone who was evil. I just accepted that the devil existed because my mom and grandmother told me he did.
I got fully immersed in the concept of the devil when I chose to follow Christianity very devoutly in my early 20’s. I was living in Tampa, Florida at the time and was considered a baby Christian in my church even though I had grown up in the faith. I believed anything my church and its leadership told me at that point in time because I honestly didn’t know any better and was told that to question the authority of my pastors was pretty much the worst sin you could commit other than breaking the 10 Commandments and not paying your tithe. It wasn’t until many years later, when God took me out of my former church and religion altogether, and I started not only studying Christianity as a non/former Christian but also as someone who no longer believed that Jesus was the “only begotten Son” of God who came here to shed his blood for the sins of the world that I also started studying the origins of the devil. It was a few years later after this when I started doing my own personal psychotherapy work as a requirement of my program that I really started putting all the pieces together and coming to the realization that I didn’t believe in the “devil”. For years when I was a Christian, there were things my and other Christian ministers, some of the biggest names in the church business, attributed to “Satan” and “satanic forces.” My former pastor, who now goes by the name Paula White Cain, loved to expound upon so-called “satanic forces” that she was convinced (and still is) are ruling the world. To get rid of these forces, all you have to do is make a small (or large) donation to her ministry and she’ll “pray the devil away.” Don’t EVEN get me started on that total bullshit. But I digress.
As I started doing my own personal healing work, I came to the conclusion that all of the things in my life that had previously been explained as the “devil” and “spiritual attacks” were in fact simply old traumas and wounds I was manifesting that were then playing out in real time. Every single time. All of the incidents and hardships that would befall me were almost all of my making and doing. I would attract certain people in my life and play out old traumas with them. I would allow people to hurt me and play other unhealed traumas out with them that way. I would make poor financial decisions and then when the repercussions of those decisions came about, I thought I was either being punished or it was the devil. It took me years of therapy, personal development work and quite frankly, straight up God/Dad to help me unravel and unlearn all of the unhealthy beliefs I had surrounding the devil, religion, faith and Him. I remember a very profound moment in my therapist's office one day. I was lamenting about my woes and how frustrating my life was that nothing seemed to be working out for me. There had been several setbacks I had had and I was convinced that the devil was working overtime to keep me down or I was cursed. My therapist said to me, “I’m not here to challenge you on your beliefs. But what if things that are happening in your life are neither good nor bad; they simply are, and everything is moving you into where you are supposed to be? What if all the things you are upset about are doors that needed to be closed or opportunities that were just not for you, and you just need to learn how to handle when things don’t go your way and be patient? Have things ever not truly worked out for you in the end?”
Mind. Blown. I sat with that concept for several sessions as I really needed to let that marinate in my spirit. I had believed in the devil for so long, that the idea of NOT believing in the devil seemed so foreign to me. But then Dad/God made a deal with me. If I could actually find real, concrete proof of the devil's existence that couldn’t be explained by either mental illness or someone needing therapy to heal old traumas that were manifesting in unhealthy ways in their life, then He would give me full permission to believe in the concept of the devil, no holds barred. 12 years later, Dad has proven Himself right time and again. It took me years of unlearning and then relearning as I studied both my Psychotherapy program and then studied the history of Christianity from some of the greatest biblical scholars, like Bart D. Ehrman and Elaine Pagels. These two and other academics opened my eyes up to countless books, papers, documentaries and biblical scholar societies that discussed all of these ideas from a factual and analytical standpoint and not a theoretical one. I learned where the history of the devil and the idea of Satan originated from. I learned how Lucifer the fallen angel in Christianity was incorrectly assigned the role of being the devil due to an incorrect translation that all noteworthy biblical scholars know and recognize; yet the broader Christian church still continues to preach incorrectly without rectification. I learned that the story of Judas Iscariot was changed and edited in Mark, Luke and John to imply that Judas betrayed Jesus, when originally in the story of Matthew, there is very little said about what Judas explicitly did (more on that later). I also learned that Mary Magdalene was never a whore, prostitute or anything of the like and that she was turned into one “accidentally” by Pope Gregory the Great in 591 when he juxtaposed the repentant sinner of Luke 7:37 with Mary of Bethany (Luke 10:38–42), and with Mary Magdalene, from whom Jesus had expelled seven demons (Luke 8:1), as if they were all the same woman. This is a well known fact in any noteworthy biblical scholarly circle, yet Christian ministers to this day still preach that she was a harlot and not Jesus’ companion (wife) which it clearly states in the Bible she was.
As I started my process of disremembering, it became clearer and clearer to me how the devil and the concept of the devil had served its ultimate purpose in keeping people of any given faith in line and in order. The devil is the ultimate mind fuck that requires absolutely no oversight and no real explanation. All leaders have to do for the most part is refer their followers back to their text, without explaining proper context or opening up scholarly debate, and tell them that if they don’t follow their rules and regulations of how they should be expressing and conducting their faith based on the leaders personal interpretation of said faith, they will go to hell. Or the devil/satan will somehow negatively “do” something to them here on Earth. This is then further explained by stating that when a person doesn’t follow the commands of their human religious leadership, they are somehow “displeasing God” and therefore are opening their spirit and themselves up to “satanic attacks.” This is the biggest example of mind-control and spiritual abuse that I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve seen this over an over in different churches and have seen this portrayed on film representing different religions.
The devil has single handedly become the greatest tool and weapon to controlling a whole group of people believing in different schools of spiritual thought. There is zero proof of the devil which is why it works so effectively. There’s no real way to prove that he doesn’t exist, so as long as you can keep people in a state of fear believing that there is a place called hell that they will go to if they don’t believe in the devil, religion has won. I was recently on Instagram and saw a post that someone put up where they talked about not letting the devil get them down or steal their joy. This culmination of feeling expressed was all due to the fact that the person was being held accountable for some inappropriate content they had posted that some people felt was offensive. Instead of the person trying to understand where people were coming from as a minor was involved, this person decided to blame the “devil,” and took zero responsibility for their actions. Their posts have all been projections about the world and the devil trying to steal their joy and how they are not going to let anyone bring them down. I can’t begin to tell you how many of these kinds of posts I have seen on various people’s social media pages. It seems to be a running theme every time, whenever the person is either reaping the consequences of previous actions or in the moment creating unhealthy situations that lead to more trauma, that they blame the devil/satan and what they are going through is never their fault or of their own doing. It is always the devils work or some other forces outside of themselves. Personally, I have never quite understood how anyone can believe in God and believe in the devil but that’s a conversation for another time. To sum it up for me, God is absolute. Dad does not have an opposite. He would never create a “devil” because he’s bored and ain’t got nothing else to do. I respect everyone’s right to believe in whatever they choose. This is simply what Dad has revealed to me in my lifetime; the inconsistencies of the stories told about Him and the things that just make no spiritual sense.
Since I have walked away from Christianity completely and stopped believing in the devil, I can truly say there is a clarity of thought that I have that I never did as a Christian. The moment I stopped judging myself and the world as being bad or good and instead looked at things in terms of healthy or unhealthy, it shifted everything inside of me and then correspondingly outside of me. I look at everything differently now. The devil and that concept no longer make sense for me. I was able to not only explain but truly understand that everything negative happening in my life has a purpose. And in most cases, there really isn’t anything going wrong. Uncomfortable for sure, but not going wrong. Everything is falling into its natural order and place. Even the times when I swear I’ve messed up something terrible, somehow everything falls perfectly into order in ways I could have never foreseen or imagined. So for me personally, I choose to believe that God is Love and Dad has no opposite. I believe Dad’s love is infinite, unconditional and everlasting so I don’t believe He would ever create a system where He’s already ordained our lives but then makes us puppets and expects us to jump through hoops to test our love and loyalty to His “word.” I believe this Earth is a classroom. We come here for soul growth and every time we complete a lifetime, we grow a little older and wiser, spiritually. I do believe we are held accountable for every action we take but we’re held accountable here, not in the afterlife. And when it’s all said and done, we are all here to serve humanity; all of our brothers and sisters no matter what ethnicity or faith. I truly believe Dad loves all His kids, believers and non-believers alike and that we all go to the same place when this lifetime is over.
I will never believe in a God that isn’t a full, total and complete embodiment of Love and Love only. And I will never believe in a God that created an opposite force to Himself to torture humans for millennia, for shits and giggles. I mean, Dad can be tough, but He’s not an asshole. He loves all of us humans, even the most “unlovable” amongst us. That’s why we are human and He is God. I may not know everything there is to know about Dad, but this much I know is true: Dad loves us way too much to ever create a devil. He knew we’d do a bang up job of creating a false god that we would then turn around and fear for no reason. Humans have become very good at creating non-real things and giving them power. Thank Dad He’s smarter than all of us.